Adam bought one from an internet shoppe
Janet bought two from a friend who was a cop
Bryce bought a fancy one because he was a fop
The second amendment’s awesome!

Mel bought one, should have known better
Julie has one in her angora sweater
Abbie bought one ’cause her mom wouldn’t let her
And none of them were gonna play possum

Joey bought four, and Joey’s a wreck
Jane had one through the chain around her neck
Chad’s misplaced his- what the heck?
Another one was easy to procure

Frankie bought his for self defense
Suzie got hers and felt less tense
Bob had three, though he had no sense
So everyone was perfectly secure

Jenny got hers from the Bill of Rights
Sam bought his to protect the whites
Lois bought hers out of spite
It seems a little heavy when it’s lead

Harry got his for some flag that waves
Naomi bought one for the home of the brave
Jenny had nine ’cause her ex was depraved
And I’m hoping that we’re safer when we’re dead

Cindy bought one, simpler than a knife
Phil’s was acquired to diminish his  strife
Don got one as a present from his wife
And we all have an awful lot of fun

Ernest gave himself one with two barrels
Pauline bought one, no more perils
All of us can buy ’em in the land of the feral:
Bullets on the cheap
From a coward with a gun

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~ Love, Nitro