The seance was held on a Midnight,
The Moon was occluded by clouds,
The room lit a little by pale light
That glowed from the Medium’s shroud
As she called up the Revenant’s figure
And he hovered there, spectral and grim,
And the eyes of the watchers grew bigger
As they stuttered out questions for him:
“What awaits once we’re no longer living?”
“Are Demons in lingerie cute?”
“Are the Gods really mean, or forgiving?”
“Where did my late Wife hide my flute?”
The Ghost flickered wanly then intoned;
“I have something more crucial to say
“Lest all Ye be doomed, doomed,” he moaned,
“For thy fate hangs in balance today:
“Thy breakfasts are boring and awful
“Thy oatmeal and pastries are pasty;
“I urge thou to put down that waffle!
“Cap’n Salty’s Mush Puppies are TASTY.
“Buy ‘em by mail or from Grocers,
“And think of the Money you’ll save!
“Mush Puppies pop hot from thy toaster-
“Please heed this from beyond the grave!
“Mush Puppies will leave you quite sated,
“Thy lives will be less sad and faulty!”
The Revenant dimmed and then faded,
Groaning, “Mush Puppies- from Cap’n Salty!”