Well,
Yer sure to be a damn sight safer
If ye keep yer hooks off the Cap’n’s Wafers…

But thirsty pirates cry to savor
Rum with crumbs of Cap’n’s Wafers,

“Ye saucy wench, go fetch the tray fer
Grog to wash down Cap’n’s Wafers!”

Fer that booty, pirates gave her
Looted loads of Cap’n’s Wafers.

Buccaneers arr even braver
Swashbuckling under Cap’n’s Wafers,

Mutineers arr sold to slavers
Slavering fer Cap’n’s Wafers,

Natives tricked by sly palaver
Trade their pearls fer Cap’n’s Wafers,

Mermaids sing as they display their
Treasure chests fer Cap’n’s Wafers,

Freebooters groom the beards they favor
Combing out the Cap’n’s Wafers;

At Queen’s decree, the Navy shaves her
Privateers fer Cap’n’s Wafers!

Yer sure to be a damn sight safer,
If ye keep yer hooks off the Cap’n’s Wafers.
May/June 2012